


i got so high that i saw jesus

by loeylane



Series: take me to church [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Identity Issues, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Pining, Public Blow Jobs, Religious Conflict, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Smoking, Summer Camp, Unrequited Crush, not beta read but is it ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28972707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loeylane/pseuds/loeylane
Summary: first what was a sloppy toppy and why was jungwoo wanting to do it with doyoung?
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Kim Jungwoo, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: take me to church [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1260656
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	i got so high that i saw jesus

**Author's Note:**

> accidentally a lucas bday fic hehe enjoy

the summer was hot. way too hot for lucas’ liking. it wasn’t just that it was hot but it was humid and sticky and sweaty and made his head full and sleepy. he hated waking up in sweaty sheets sticking to his long legs. 

lucky for him he was going to camp soon. and oddly enough there was something so cooling about the thought of it. maybe it was the murky lake or the popsicles he’s grown accustomed to over the years. this year however would be different. he could be a counselor. 

he had felt giddy signing up in march with jungwoo to be part of bunk 6 as counselors. especially since he knew that their friends ten and taeil would be the other counselors in the bunk. 

ten was in college now, studying performing arts. lucas always loved hanging out with ten. he was so relaxed and carefree. ten was also a homosexual which for lucas put a strain on his admiration of the boy. lucas always thought that when people became gay they would change but ten stayed the same. he tried to understand better but it was so hard for him to come to terms with but he still loved his friend. 

taeil on the other hand was a rule follower. taeil was starting law school soon and dating jungwoo’s older sister. he had his life planned from the time he took his first breath. taeil also had aspects lucas craved. he was prepared and knew what he wanted. he could make anything happen for himself. he was the first person to get out of the cul de sac and he envied him for that. 

he and jungwoo had graduated two weeks prior, finally free from the secondary chains now onto post secondary chains that bind. they had drifted apart. more of a natural drift similar to how the tides change and the moon waxes and wanes. jungwoo had been hanging out with new people and lucas hadn’t, whether he had chosen not to or had never been asked to hang out was up for debate but that could be settled later. 

he missed his best friend, just the ease of their relationship, now he had to go places without him, meet people without him, it was lonely. he also missed staying up late and feeling good together. jungwoo seemed to be doing just fine. he had grown closer to mark, since he found out mark was attending the same college as them. but jungwoo seemed to always leave xuxi out of the conversations, at least that’s how he felt. 

jungwoo even went to senior week with mark, leaving lucas at home. they promised to have their own senior week not wanting to go to the beach and be surrounded by temptation, but things change. he hadn’t seen jungwoo since the day after graduation and it wasn’t a big deal but he missed his face, the way his eyes crinkle when he talks, his cute bunny nose, and just the warmth he brings. even in the summer lucas wanted the warmth of his best friend. 

jungwoo was supposed to be back two days ago, but he hadn’t heard anything from him yet or seen him. they leave for camp in two days and he was hoping to go over the checklist they had made months prior. but now he was in his room doing that alone. 

one thing he was excited for was finally wearing a yellow shirt instead of a blue one, seeing familiar faces and some fresh. he was so excited to help all of the kids on their journey with christ. the urge to get on the church bus was overwhelming him but he had a bad feeling looming in the back of his head he couldn’t ignore as he sorted through his socks counting enough for two weeks. 

his door flung open and his bouncy haired best friend skidded into his room crashing onto his bed a pile of clothes tumbling in his wake. 

“xuxiohmygoshdidyouhear?markisgonnacometocampmaybehewillbeinthesamecabindoyouthinkhewillbeinthesamecabinihopeheisohmygoshcanyoubelievehegetstogo” jungwoo was going five hundred miles a minute. he must have ran here from his house his hair was stuck to his forehead, his cheeks tinted pink and lips parted panting as he finished speaking. to be honest lucas hadn’t understood a word jungwoo just said. 

“oh my gosh, jungwoo when did you get back?”

“like 3 days ago, did you hear me?” lucas’ face dropped a bit but not enough for jungwoo to notice. 

“you were talking too fast dude, repeat please,” lucas asked a grin shifting onto his features. 

“okay, okay, so,” the pink cheeked boy paused, breathing deeply, pulling himself together. “mark is going to camp! he gets to come, the dates on his summer abroad got pushed back. can you believe it. oh my gosh lucas it’s going to be so much fun.” jungwoo heaved rolling onto his back as he did. 

he could hear jungwoo spurting with excitement but he couldn’t focus on anything he was saying now. lucas’ smile faded as soon as the words left his lips, but he wasn’t about to show jungwoo he was sad about mark being at camp. maybe lucas was a jealous guy but he just wanted jungwoo all to himself. he liked to make him laugh, not watch mark make jungwoo laugh. and it’s not that mark was terrible either lucas just didn’t want to be thirdwheeling during camp with those two. 

“won’t that be so fun?” jungwoo finished looking over for a response. lucas wasn’t absorbing any of what jungwoo had just said though. “lucas?” 

“hmm,” his ears finally perked up to the sound of his name. 

“didn’t you hear me? won’t it be fun?” 

“oh yeah super fun sorry, i was counting pairs.” he shook his head piling pairs of underwear into his bag. 

“jeez, xuxi, you have to fold them.” the blue haired boy said, looking up at his friend with bright eyes before sitting up. he dug out all that lucas had just put in and began folding. lucas watched him. the way the sunlight from the window caught the different shades of blue in his hair. 

jungwoo only dyed his hair recently, the day after school had ended. lucas was sort of shocked. it was always something his parents didn’t approve of, unnatural hair dye, that is. so when jungwoo walked into his room on a saturday morning looking like a ripe blueberry he wasn’t happy or expecting. ten apparently dyed his hair the previous night on a whim. 

he was worried jungwoo was hanging out with ten a little too much but he didn’t want to say anything. lucas didn’t want to be a party pooper or make ten feel like he thought less of him, even if lucas did. lucas didn’t really want to admit to thinking less of him either. he just didn’t want ten to be a worldly influence on jungwoo. didn’t want him to be so tolerable of homosexuality. 

but lucas was doing the very things with jungwoo that made him dislike ten. 

——

it had only been two hours and lucas was already ready to leave the lake. he spent the entire bus ride shoved against the window while jungwoo talked to ten and mark about their bunk arrangements. then he was stuck on top bunk, which wasn’t bad except he didn’t fit on top bunk and everyone knew that. he would wake up every morning for six weeks hitting his head on the ceiling and his feet would dangle off each night. jungwoo decided to bunk with mark which, again fine but they had just talked about it all spring, bunking together and jungwoo on top bunk with lucas on bottom. he had probably been bitten by 68 mosquitos already and got a splinter and the cherry on top, jungwoo and mark want to be roommates in college. 

it’s not like lucas and jungwoo have been planning since freshman year their dorm layout. no it was fine really, lucas was fine. he would just find some other best friend to spend 18 years getting to know to room with. 

he was heartbroken in a way he couldn’t explain. maybe because he hadn’t experienced heartbreak of any kind, but he couldn’t place the feeling of jealousy in his tummy. he was sitting at the dock watching some of the kids swim around in the murky water. he missed being a kid and just being best friends not having to navigate relationships and know people's mood and inflections. 

he was playing a game of solitaire trying to take his mind off the fracturing relationship, also trying not to drop a card between the wood slats into the water below. 

“you know you can peak?” lucas jumped out of his skin not expecting anyone. thankfully it was just ten sitting down beside him scraping his knees on the dock. 

“why would i peak? the point is winning without help.” 

“yeah but if you really need a hint.” ten showed his little cheshire grin. they sat beside each other in silence for a while, ten occasionally pointing his finger to a move lucas had missed. 

“why are you out here anyways? being a pouty baby?” was he being pouty? 

“no reason just wanted to be by myself.”

“lucas you have never wanted to be by yourself.” ten almost sounded worried. 

“sometimes i just need me time, you know,” lucas was lying and he felt bad but he didn’t want to get into his jealousy. 

“well i’m here to listen if it’s more than just ‘me time.’ you know we’re friends too and i care about you.”

“ten, it isn’t that deep, okay?” ten just nodded in response and eventually left lucas alone again. 

——

the cabin was noisy, of course it would be it was the first night. the cabin was filled with boys all around 18 years old and it felt like what lucas thought a frat house would be like. he was in the counselors cabin, separate from the camper cabins. they weren’t old enough to bunk with the campers, you had to be 25 to do that, but they still helped however they could. there were six boys to a cabin so, jungwoo, mark, taeil, ten, lucas and some new kid named yuta. 

lucas was bunking with yuta, shoved on the top bunk of a child’s bunk bed. he felt left out and forgotten by his friend. he was sitting on his bunk in one corner of the room while all of the boys sat on ten’s bottom bunk across the room. they were playing a card game and lucas had declined. mainly due to the name, he couldn’t play a game called bullshit, what if someone found out. he was “reading” his bible but mainly eavesdropping on his friends conversation. 

“3 aces,” ten smirked, placing 3 cards face down. 

“BULLSHIT,” jungwoo yelled, pointing his finger to the boy across from him. he flipped the top three cards over revealing 1 jack, 1 queen, and a 2. ten sulked pulling the large stack of cards into his lap and sorting them. jungwoo sat back smugly fingering his cards. 

“for someone as sneaky as you, you really suck at this game,” mark laughed. 

“i am not sneaky.” ten defended. 

“unhuh and i’m just here for the bible study,” jungwoo rolled his eyes. lucas’ eyes widen when he heard that, jungwoo really wasn’t the same jungwoo he knew. what happened to prayer buddies and bible study on tuesdays. if he wasn’t here for the bible study what was it for?

“oh and what are you here for then, pretty boy,” ten teased peering over his hefty hand. 

“shhhh, you already know.” jungwoo glanced over at lucas hinting at ten to quiet down. lucas really was dying to know so he tried to seem more interested in his notepad and bible than the conversation going on. 

“what? it’s not like he cares you can tell everyone how you are here to smoke and save face.” lucas tried his best not to gape at ten’s statement. 

“is that really all he’s here for though?” mark goaded as he brought his knees to his chest. 

“oh right, he’s trying to give doyoung a sloppy toppy in the showers every morning.” jungwoo slapped ten’s arm after that as the group laughed together. the game went on and lucas’ brain was focused on anything OTHER than his devotions. first what was a sloppy toppy and why was jungwoo wanting to do it with doyoung? second why would he be hanging out with doyoung, arguably the least godly most obnoxious, fake christian lucas had ever met. he wasn’t one to judge but doyoung just wasn’t a good person. he smoke, but jungwoo did now, drank, had premarital relations and even bragged about it. he was only here because his parents forced him so he could get away with all the other stuff through the year. lucas hoped he wasn’t actually hanging out with that heathen and it was all part of a joke. 

the boys eventually turned the lights off and lucas turned towards the wall trying not to cry. he felt like he was losing his best friend to people who didn’t care for religion or even pray. he felt sad and alone, he was sad for jungwoo’s spirit he didn’t want something to happen to him from being involved with bad influences. He didn’t sleep much that night. 

—-

jungwoo woke up earlier than usual. mainly because he was meeting doyoung in the showers that morning. it was around 5am when he finally stumbled out of his cabin. the moon hung low in the sky and the sun was making its way along the horizon. he tried to seem less suspicious than he was pretending he woke up to go pee and was actually still very asleep. instead he was wide awake, giddy to see the boy he had been spending special time with. 

you see jungwoo had always had a fascination with doyoung, with how he was so bad but looked so good doing it. jungwoo wasn’t gay that was something he was sorta sure of. he was more of just experimenting until he had to go back to the reality of him settling down and continuing his family legacy of going to their church. 

jungwoo first hung out with doyoung about two weeks before graduation seeing him at ten’s for a lowkey party. ten had done it on purpose after jungwoo had joked about how he thought he was hot. truth was jungwoo did think doyoung was hot. ten also invited doyoung to senior week and maybe one thing lead to another and jungwoo sucked him off in a beach bathroom stall. it kinda became their thing. doyoung would fuck jungwoo’s face and jungwoo would happily allow it. so now at camp they were still going to let it happen. no holy spirit was going to get in their way. 

sticks crunched under jungwoo’s feet when he finally made it to the farthest showers. no one ever used these, frankly jungwoo didn’t even want to use them for this but it was more secluded. doyoung was already there actually showering. 

“was i supposed to actually bring my shampoo?” jungwoo joked as he stared at doyoung’s bare back water pouring down muscles flexing as he washed his hair. 

“might as well.” doyoung didn’t turn around he just continued rinsing his hair. jungwoo took the chance to start stripping, his flip flops however would be staying on. 

“can i borrow some,” jungwoo said from where he was still near the door but completely naked. 

“only if you do me a favor,” doyoung said, finally turning around gawking at jungwoo who was bare in front of him. jungwoo made his way over to doyoung not saying another word but settling his knees on the disgusting tile below him. doyoung was already semi-hard, jungwoo wondered if he had been thinking about this before he had arrived. 

“how did you know this was the favor i was going to ask for?” doyoung smirked from above him. 

“just an inkling,” jungwoo joked before taking doyoung into his mouth. he swirled his tongue around the head before bringing his hands up to doyoung’s thighs. doyoung sighed from above leaning back against the tile causing the water he was shielding from jungwoo to fall. the warm water made the situation all the more erotic. 

doyoung stared down at jungwoo, eyes full of lust, as jungwoo began to bob his head down taking doyoung completely in his mouth. jungwoo loved this, feeling used by someone without actually being manipulated. he loved feeling someone completely; it overwhelmed his senses. he was savoring the moment as doyoung filled his throat and made his eyes water. doyoung had grasped jungwoo’s face pushing himself completely down jungwoo’s tight, hot throat. 

jungwoo felt himself wanting to choke, to cough, to gag but he didn’t. he tried to open his throat more to fit even more of doyoung. he wanted all he could take. jungwoo stared up at doyoung basking in the olders fucked out expression not to mention the moans echoing against the tile. he could feel doyoung’s thighs tensing harder underneath his touch, jungwoo knew he was close. he waited for the hot cum to shoot into his mouth, and when it did he held it there showing doyoung his full mouth then his empty mouth. doyoung helped jungwoo from the floor his cock bobing heavily between his legs. 

“can i watch you?” doyoung asked knowing jungwoo was doing to jerk off seconds later. jungwoo nodded pushing his wet hair away from his reddened face, eyes briefly connecting with doyoung’s. they switched places doyoung going under the water and jungwoo leaning against the slick tile, still slightly warm from doyoung. 

jungwoo quickly brought his hand down to his cock. swiftly snapping his wrist making his toes curl. doyoung had only watched him three other times. once in doyoung’s car at a drive in movie after jungwoo sucked his soul during mamma mia, once in doyoung’s backyard after they got high and talked about space, and lastly while jungwoo was on the phone with mark, after he told him he could come to camp. jungwoo enjoyed it, liked being watched, it was hot, felt so dirty but it wasn’t like when he did it with lucas. he always chalked it up to be lucas’ innocence that made jungwoo cum in 10 seconds. 

doyoung was hot to get off too, standing in front of him water pouring on him while he tweaked jungwoo’s nipples. it was all a lot for jungwoo, more than normal. it felt so nasty to be in the showers at church camp anyone could come in and catch them. what would they say catching two boys together in the showers. that’s what made him cum. thinking of lucas’ walking in on them. he would be so mortified catching his godly best friend cumming onto doyoung’s tummy and licking it off. 

the water was getting cold when they finished, so they quickly finished rinsing off. they dried off in silence but not an awkward postcoital silence. jungwoo put his clothes back on and doyoung left first. jungwoo eventually left a few minutes later, admiring the sunrise from his walk back. he decided to stop at one of the docks to sit and watch the sun rise. 

the sky was so beautiful, purple and orange mixing together and the temperature perfect, warm but not too hot. the dock creaked for a second before lucas sat down beside him. 

“good morning,” jungwoo said rather chirpy. he smiled at his best friend, hands filled with his bible and notebook and his cute little pencil case. he didn’t say anything in response, just placed his things around him in a sort of semicircle. jungwoo watched him open his bible and notebook flipping to his bookmarks. 

“did you sleep okay?” jungwoo asked as he leaned back on his hands. 

“i guess.”

“first night is hard, it's so exciting.”

“i guess yeah,” lucas responded dryly. jungwoo assumed he was in a mood or had really slept bad. 

“what are you planning to do today?”

“i don’t know.”

“why are you being so short? do you want me to shut up?” jungwoo questioned slightly annoyed that his friend wasn’t being particularly normal this morning. 

“sorry, i’ll go.” jungwoo was confused. lucas had sat down beside him not even a minute ago and he was already packing up to go elsewhere. 

“you don’t have to leave, i just- is something bothering you?” 

“no. i guess i’m just tired, sorry,” jungwoo could see right through lucas but didn’t press him further. they sat in silence, jungwoo admiring the summer sky and lucas flipping a page occasionally while he focused on the book of hebrews. jungwoo knew something was up with him but didn’t want to prod, something had been bothering his friend for a while but he didn’t know what it was. lucas hadn’t been talking to him and he assumed it was his own fault. 

—-

the next few weeks were pretty much the same as the first. lucas sitting on his bed while the other boys played card games, truth or dare, and two truths and a lie. they only had one more day of camp and lucas couldn’t wait to leave. he had never wanted to leave camp; he always wanted to stay longer. this year he felt out of place amongst his cabin mates, his friends, and even the campers. 

“lucas won’t you come sit with us just this last night? please we miss you.” how could they miss him when they have been together for the entire summer. 

“yeah lucas won’t you join?” ten begged. they were piled up on ten and jungwoo’s bed which they had pushed together. lucas contemplated, it wouldn’t hurt and maybe he would feel a little better on his last night, but he also didn’t want to be doing the ~things~ they were doing. 

he eventually decided, walking over to the beds and awkwardly squeezing in between yuta and mark. taeil was out for the night, filling in for a cabin counselor who had to leave earlier. they all cheered and smiled at him as he settled. 

“so boys, we have played many games while we have been here, but we have yet to play my personal favorite!” lucas felt like ten was strangely excited. “never have i ever boys, but while high!” ten exclaimed pulling what looked like a cigarette out of his hoodie pocket. lucas’ eyes went wide once he put the pieces together. smoking, high, ten had marijuana! 

“ten!” lucas yelled, making all the boys turn their heads to lucas.

“lucas, don’t be such a party pooper. even jesus smoked weed you know.” ten said. jungwoo held back a giggle knowing he was lying. 

“really?” 

“yeah, you don’t remember? jesus was a heavy pot head.” yuta added. lucas pondered he didn’t ever remember jesus smoking anything in the bible. but why would ten and yuta lie to him. 

“well if he did it i guess we can.” jungwoo was somewhat surprised at lucas’ conjecture. he knew lucas was gullible but he didn’t think he was that gullible. 

“he would be happy you did! it will bring you closer to him,” now ten was just milking it but he knew he could. he leaned over and pulled a lighter from under his pillow. 

“woo,” ten nodded, bringing the joint to jungwoo’s lips and lighting it. lucas watched in awe as smoke puffed out of jungwoo’s mouth and around the cigarette. lucas felt something strange in his tummy, he shrugged it off to nerves. jungwoo lifted his fingers after taking a long drag and pulled the spliff from his lips holding the smoke in his longs for a while. jungwoo looked over at lucas. lucas was nervous what was he supposed to do. jungwoo coughed smoke billowing up between the circle. he lifted the joint to lucas’ lips softly. 

“just take a deep breath through your mouth okay,” lucas nodded at jungwoo taking a deep breath and feeling like he was going to die almost immediately. he choked and coughed. yuta and mark were laughing and patting his back. they continued passing the cigarette between them and lucas slowly got used to the feeling of the smoke filling his lungs. he also felt lighter than he ever had. 

“okay, never have i ever time.” ten finally said smoke puffing from his lips. “you know the rules?” he nodded to lucas. the pause suggested a no so ten began, “okay ten fingers up, say something you have never done and anyone who has done it put a finger down.” lucas thought he understood so he sat there both hands up along with the other boys he sat with. 

“i’ll start,” mark suggested. “never have i ever, sucked dick.” lucas was slightly shocked but he had heard them say worse during their summer. ten brought a finger down, lucas wasn’t surprised, yuta was next, also slightly not surprised he gave off a homosexual vibe to lucas, what did surprise lucas was jungwoo popping his pointer finger down. he tried not to see like he was disappointed in his friend. 

“okay me next, never have i ever,” jungwoo began pausing to think for a moment, “never have i ever, used a fake id and gotten caught.” jungwoo smiled eying ten beside him watching his second finger go down, he missed yuta’s finger dropping too. lucas was kinda in shock they had fake ids? 

“good one,” ten started. “never have i ever, read the entire bible,” lucas quickly put his finger down happily. it quickly faded when he noticed no one else had. but he thought jungwoo had. they had spent one summer reading it together. 

“jungwoo, put your finger down, we did that last summer,” lucas whispered. 

“i never finished,” he trailed off looking away from his friend. lucas was fully disappointed but his brain was too foggy to really show it. he just nodded and waited for yuta to continue. 

“props man, never even finished a regular book myself,” yuta jokes, easing the slight tension. “ok never have i ever had a threesome,” yuta immediately put a finger down. lucas’ mind was racing what really was a threesome? was that when you had sexual relations with two people at once. he was almost disgusted by the question, but even more so when all the other boys dropped there fingers except jungwoo. 

“jungwoo put a finger down,” ten exclaimed grinning to jungwoo. 

“that was most definitely not a threesome.”

“let’s ask the judges,” ten said, looking to the rest of the circle. “if you suck two dicks at once is that a threesome?” jungwoo was blushing from his seat. 

“duh.”

“if there were three separate loads it was,” yuta chimed, making the boys laugh. lucas didn’t. 

“okay fine,” jungwoo put a finger down. all eyes went to lucas then. 

“oh sorry, uh never have i ever been drunk,” all fingers dropped except lucas’. 

“kid, you’re going to get us all out,” yuta laughed. lucas slightly giggled. the game went on and lucas obviously won having put only two fingers down. after the game was wrapped up and the boys began talking about other things while they passed around the rest of the blunt, lucas slipped out. he felt sick, his head hurt, he was nauseous, he was crying and didn’t notice. he had made his way to the closest dock before he knew it. 

the dry wood was rough beneath his bare feet. he needed to leave. he wanted to go home and pretend this summer didn’t happen. he wished it didn’t. he wanted things back to normal. he finally collapsed onto the wooden dock making it bounce in the water. he lauded there for a while, thinking about what would happen in a few weeks. he and jungwoo would go to college and probably part ways, jungwoo would room with mark and lucas would get paired with some stranger. 

—-

jungwoo had followed lucas out of the cabin, trying to find his lanky figure on one of the dark paths. he found him sitting on the dock, knees to his chest, hands in his hair. 

“lucas,” the other boy turned at the call of his name. “what’s going on with you? don’t tell me it’s nothing i’m not stupid.” jungwoo rushed over to lucas siting down beside him. 

“it’s just- you’re so worldly now woo, you’re so much different than i am now. you smoke and drink and do sloppy toppys, i still don’t know what that is. you have friends who don’t love god like we should. i just miss like 3 months ago when we were planning our dorm layout and we would have sleepovers and talk about everything. i feel like i don’t even know you anymore. like you're not the same jungwoo from then.” lucas spilled how he was feeling; it felt like a weight had lifted but a heavier one had filled its place. jungwoo stared at him for a moment waiting to process everything he had said. 

“maybe i am more worldly, but i feel so trapped xuxi. i don’t want to be a deacon, i don’t want to go to divinity school, i feel like i’m broken. like why do i not find joy in going to church anymore like you do. i want to go back to then too, i feel like i will never find joy in that again. i miss you. we’re so different now and not because either of us did something wrong. you’re just so much more devout than i, so much stronger against temptation. lucas i’m scared.” jungwoo was now spilling his guts trying not to cry while looking at his best friend. lucas felt bad, how had he not realized his best friend was in turmoil. 

“you aren’t trapped, you’re never trapped with god.”

“but that’s the thing i feel like i’m trapped in church. like i will never be the christian they want me to be.” 

“there isn’t a right way to be a christian, woo, you don’t have to pray everyday or even read the bible or go to church to be a good christian. that’s just like recommended. like ten is still a christian even though he is homosexual, god still loves him. he won’t love you less because you drink and stuff.” lucas was trying to comfort him and it seemed to be helping him. 

“lucas i think,” jungwoo paused, contemplating telling him what he wanted to. “i think i’m gay.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading besties ! 
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/silkysuh)
> 
> [ curious cat ](https://curiouscat.me/silkysuh)


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